This was suppose to be the last chapter of this book but it never made it.. But I want you to know this story so you can know how strong and healthy I am today. It’s important that you be aware that the possibilities are endless. Keep in mind that what I am about to tell you in this chapter occurred 14 years after being diagnosed with very aggressive MS. I wrote this chapter a couple of weeks after returning from Tibet...
I have just returned from a trip to Nepal and Tibet with my 17 year old son. We trekked throughout the Himalayas and were part of a Pilgrimage to Mt. Kailash, Tibet, one of the highest and most difficult treks in the world. It was the most amazing experience of my life.
About eight months before going we started planning this trip. The plan was for me to go with my husband, daughter and son. I stepped up my morning walks. I walked 2 miles every morning anyway, but I increased my walks to 5 miles a day in preparation. My body was strong, but I needed to make sure it was use to long distance walks, even if it was at sea level at that point. I was practicing yoga every morning after my walks. All was going according to plan. The thought of going on this trip with most of my family was extraordinary. I felt very excited about what we were about to do. A few months before going, my daughter had to drop out and soon after so did my husband. That left me taking my 17 year old son on my own. Technically we weren’t going alone., but it sure felt that way to me. We would be flying to Kathmandu to meet the rest of the group. The group we would be joining consisted of 46 other people, who were from 12 different countries.We had never been there. Really had no idea what to expect. After much soul searching I decided to go for it. I was very, very excited but as the time grew closer for us to leave I began to feel some fear. I was going half way around the world on what was supposed to be a pretty dangerous trek and taking Sean with me. The night before I left all I kept thinking was that I was crazy for doing this and that maybe I should just call the whole thing off for us. Well, I didn’t do that. I decided to trust that there was a higher reason for me to be in this place at this time in such an unlikely plan. I was going to be 53 the day I got home from the trip, and if I didn’t do it now, when? Time to jump in with both feet without looking back.
After physicals for both of us, months of breaking in our hiking boots, assembling all the things that were needed to take with us and the recommended shots we were ready to go. We left for Nepal from Los Angeles with a one hour stop in Tokyo and a 6 hour stop in Singapore. It was a 32 hour trip to Nepal. We had both been on long flights, but this was different. This time we were alone and I was thinking that maybe I still had time to back out. But I didn’t, I had to do this. The minute we stepped on the plane in LA I could feel how excited my son was to be doing this trip and that’s all I needed, to relax and enjoy this journey. Enjoy it we did!!!!! We were in for the adventure of our lives.
We stopped in Tokyo for an hour and then got back on the same plane to continue on to Singapore. In Singapore it was 2am and we’d be boarding the next plane at 8am. We found the leg massage machines and made our way down the terminal going from machine to machine. By the time we were finished we were having hot chocolate and coffee with very well massaged and rested legs ready to get on the next flight. We talked to my husband on the computer and enjoyed our time in the most incredible airport we had ever been!! At 7:30 we boarded the flight Kathmandu and ready to continue the adventure. I felt so alive. Life was being so kind to me.
We arrived in Kathmandu at noon 3 days later (we lost a day crossing the international time line) and at landing I realized we were definitely on the other side of the world. Not good, not bad, it was just different and fascinating . We had 4 suitcases between us. We had to have clothes and be ready for our time in Nepal where it was very warm and tropical. We also had to have clothes and boots and tennis shoes to climb and trek in the snow and cold of the mountains of Tibet. In addition to that we had to bring things that you couldn’t get in that part of the world. All of that filled 3 of the suitcases. The fourth suitcase was holding about 400 pairs of sunglasses. There had been an appeal to us for sunglasses by our trek guide to take to the people of Tibet. The people in Tibet Have many problems with their sight and their eyes because of the altitude and as a result of how strong the sun is there. We decided to bring our spares. Then I e-mailed our friends to ask for their spares as well. Next thing we knew we had a suitcase full of sunglasses that were donated for us to distribute to people we met on our trek in Tibet. We were so happy to have all those glasses! Sean spent hours cleaning and bagging each pair. The whole process was adding to our excitement for this trip. It felt so good to know we were going to make a difference. Now reality was facing us at the airport in Kathmandu. It was all very nice, but if they decided to open that suitcase at the airport would they believe that I was bringing them to donate or would they take them away? I had never been to this part of the world so I had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that we had the best intentions in the world; but would that be enough? After getting off the plane on the runway, and having our passports checked, we found our luggage and got in line at immigration. They were checking everyone’s suitcase in front of us. When we finally got to the front of the line the man looked at me and looked at Sean and waved us through without checking us. I couldn’t believe it! That set the tone for the whole trip. It was unbelievable. The minute even a small sense of worry entered my head when a situation occurred, it seemed to resolve itself without any effort on my part.
I was exhausted, but I had never felt more alive than the moment I got off the plane in Kathmandu. That feeling stayed with me throughout the trip, and is still with me as I’m writing this. It’s been a little over two weeks since I’ve been back, and I pray this is something that will remain with me.
Once finished with the process to enter the country we took the plunge out of the building. We were being scooted out and off the sidewalk to cross the street. There were no signs telling us where to go. It took a little while and a lot of faith and what felt like a long time, which really was only a few minutes, but our ride came to find us, just when I was wondering what I would do next to get a ride to where we were going to stay. We were in the midst of a very, very different world. We have travelled extensively, but this was different. Everything about it was different than anything we had ever experienced. I could feel the adrenaline flowing and a sense of excitement, but maybe a little overwhelmed. I could feel my motherly instinct kicking in to make sure my son was safe. And he was wearing a huge smile, never even realizing what my thoughts were. But it was all good. Not good but excellent.
So far every person had greeted us with “Namaste”. If you don't know what that means it loosely means "the light in me is also the same light which shines in you". There is grace in being greeted with “Namaste”, a sense of peace and understanding. No matter what, there is an immediate connection and reminder. The tone was being set every step of the way so far…
Our driver turned out to be a serious no nonsense kind of guy that made sure we got to our hotel in one piece. The streets were dusty and in need of extensive repair. In all honesty the place looked like it had been bombed and needed to be rebuilt. Cows, dogs and people walked between the cars in the very busy streets. A film of dust seemed to rest on everything. Cars drove on the “wrong side of the road“missing each other by inches. There was a sense of organized chaos in this place which made it endearing but at the same time a little disconcerting. My senses were being bombarded and overloaded at every turn. Lesson #1. Accept and embrace every situation… if you flow with the tide it will take you to shore. Otherwise, you may make it, but be exhausted trying to fight it.
For half an hour we drove in a congested, busy city. Cars honked as they were passing each other in what is their own set of driving signals. To an outsider it seems like random honking, but if you paid attention you soon realized that they were sending definite signals to the cars around them. It’s not done out of hostility, but rather as a way of communicating. Truly fascinating… but at this point I hadn’t figured that out and was a little overwhelmed by the HUGE potholes in the road and noise around me. As we were taking it all in and what seemed forever, all of a sudden our driver made a sharp turn into a small driveway and we entered a completely different world. A long quiet driveway led to and opened up to a pretty building and what looked like endless lush green grounds. Completely unexpected and very welcome at this point.
We had arrived at the hotel. We were given a very nice room at the end of a long pathway through the trees, ponds filled with lotus flowers and beautiful statues. The hotel was a little quiet paradise within that hustle and bustle of activity outside the hotel grounds. There were many, many green areas with inspiring signs and statues to surprise you at every turn. By the time we settled into our room and decided to get something to eat it was 4pm and were very tired and very hungry. We walked back to the main building and into the dining room of the hotel fully expecting it to be open. We were told that seating for dinner was at 7:30 and that lunch was no longer being served and to come back at dinner time. I don't know whether it was our bewildered look, but I think they realized we were not going to make it to dinner time and a man, who turned out to be the manager, asked us to sit and he would talk to the kitchen. Twenty minutes later we were either having left overs from lunch or samples of what was going to be served for dinner. Either way it was delicious and we were so grateful. Amazing grace was being displayed all around us. We finished our lunch and headed back to our room and dropped into our beds until we woke up the next morning 14 hours later.
I woke up to birds singing loudly outside my window. For a moment I wasn’t sure where I was. Wow, I was in Kathmandu-pinch me! I woke Sean up and got ready and went for breakfast. We had arrived a day earlier than the rest of the group so sight seeing had been planned for us. I had no idea what we were doing today except we were suppose to be picked up and taken to who knows where. I was going for the ride and adventure to wherever sight seeing while we waited for the rest of the group to arrive. We went to a small Buddhist monastery where 30 young Buddhist monks lived up the road. Then we went to the Monkey Temple, lunch at a holy center, the Hindu Temple and back to the hotel. We were gone all day in what felt like a surreal movie at times. I couldn’t have asked for a better day… The truth of the matter is that our original driver didn’t pick us up and the tour co. sent somebody else to pick us up, and he knew nothing about being a tour director, But he was trying very hard. We went from place to place after getting lost and going to some very odd places from one side of the city to the other. But it was a great way to criss cross Kathmandu and really get a sense of where we were. All I could do was laugh at the situation and really take a look at the beauty of the way things work out. It didn’t matter…Sean and I were in Kathmandu on an adventure…time to leave expectations behind and enjoy this incredible journey. That’s why we were here. Lesson #2-enjoy the now-it is all we have.
The next day we received our equipment for our trip and met all our fellow travelers. Instructions were given. Then it was time for seeing the sights in Kathmandu with our official trek guide and dear friend who had convinced us to take the trip. After some incredible sight seeing for 2 days and acclimating to the altitude it was time to head for Tibet. We had to repack and take our new gear and clothes in a different duffel bag and backpack. We left our suitcases behind with the remainder of our belongings until we returned from Tibet. Time to go… The drive was an incredible experience. There were times I thought I might not make it back home. Roads had been washed out in parts because of the rain. Slipping and sliding and white knuckled much of time on much of the narrow mountain roads. But, we saw some of the most beautiful landscapes along the way. The countryside in Nepal is breathtaking.
Finally we reached the border. We then had to walk quite a distance, maybe a mile or two. Then I saw the bridge. The bridge which separates Nepal from Tibet. It’s a long narrow bridge which is half Nepalese and half Chinese. Once we reached the Chinese line we were to give our passports one by one in the same order as they had us on a list to a Chinese officer. He then told us to walk ahead to the immigration building and I was told to not look back. The only problem was that my son was behind me. I did as I was told but not without some reservations and breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw Sean coming to join us. I had no idea what to expect, except I was told that they loved to harass Americans during the immigration process. My experience was not that at all. The immigration official checked both of us with an amused smile and when I said "thank you" he looked at me and smiled and said "you're welcome". And we were officially in Tibet. We got on Chinese transportation, leaving the Nepalese on the other side of the border until we returned. As we drove through the Himalayas and experienced the altitude climbing as we went on, I turned to my son and said "we are literally on top of the world!". He smiled and I knew he had been thinking the same thing. Absolutely incredible! I couldn't believe we were actually here. Every day, as we travelled, we would stop to spend the night and hike in preparation for the 3-day trek around Mt. Kailash which would be at times at 18,000 feet above sea level.
We woke up to yoga every morning, saw some of the most beautiful mountains and lakes I have ever seen. Passed out sunglasses along the way to children and adults who smiled and knew that although we didn’t speak the same language, the light that shined in me was the same light that shined in them. We spent the night next to the highest lake in the world and saw a night sky which was filled with stars that could almost be touched. Along the way the excitement and anticipation rose with every day. We reached our destination after a few days. and after one last hike we were ready for our pilgrimage at Mount Kailash the next day.
We were given the choice of having a pony for our trek if we wanted. I chose to have one along with others in our group. Of course I would also be hiking quite a bit of it, but I needed to be careful that I didn't cause too much stress on my body. I didn't know how my body would react to the altitude. Altitude can affect you in unexpected ways. I had Sean with me and didn't want to be reckless. I was fine and felt strong, but better safe than sorry. Sean chose to hike it all by foot.
Throughout our 3 day pilgrimage at Kailash the sights were incredible. There were peaks and valleys with temperatures shifting from one moment to another from cold to hot within seconds. At times there was an incredible sense of peace and tranquility all around. It was as if time were stopping for us. We crossed a glacier in hail, rain and fog and all without a clue of what was beyond at any point in time. The three days were exhausting and at times terrifying; and at moments inspiring. The Tibetan people are sweet and kind. Above all they are strong and incredibly charming. The significance of what was happening in my life and my son’s life in those moments left me and still leaves me with a deep sense of gratitude. Why was I there? I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that until then I didn't have the courage to finish this book... I have released my fears in so many ways… Why was Sean there? I don’t have the answer to that either but his transformation was quite remarkable.
How could I possibly have fear now? We live in an incredible world which is here for us to enjoy and experience. It’s here for us to take in however we wish to. It’s here to support us and nurture us if we let it. It’s all about perspective. We have the choice on how we view our lives. I was able to finish this incredible trek in excellent health and energy and with an indescribable love for life.
Had you asked me 16 years ago, when I was diagnosed with MS, if I would ever be able to do this, I would most definitely have said “no”. This trip was truly a remarkable experience. To be very honest, had I not gotten sick and been through this journey to healing and change, I don't think I would have ever taken that trip. Actually I don't think I would have been anywhere where this would have been offered to me as an option.
I humbly tell you that getting sick was the biggest gift to my life and to my family's life. My eyes have been opened to so many incredible possibilities, and I couldn't be more grateful. It is up to us how we view our situations. I chose to overcome and transcend the dis-ease. At least I was going to give it a shot and would never stop trying. You are reading this now because you may be in the same mindset. If you are not in this mindset, it’s time you consider changing. You too will transcend. We will choose health and love. You will choose living every moment and being truly alive. I am so happy to share this journey with you!